Poor Fourth Child

Madelyn, my sweet baby. The caboose to our train. Seriously, one of the sweetest little girls ever. I'm sorry you don't have any stories about you on here! I'm going to try to change that. For now here is the evolution of your name.
Madelyn
Mackie Mookie (Thanks to the Gummy Bears song Nookie Nookie Nookie, Sweeter than a Cookie)
Mackie Moo
Maddie Moo
Moo Moo
Moo Moo Pumpkin Poo Poo
Pumpkin Poo

Also, you were the first one of my kiddos that nicknamed your siblings. Like, you only ever called Hannah by her name. The other two got special names.
Odie (started as Dudie)
Unk Sue

Poor Alex, Odie got adopted by all of us. I'm not sure if he will ever just be Alex again or if he forevermore shall be known as Odie.

Where Does Time GO?

I stumbled upon my blog last night and it made me so very sad. I mean, it made me happy to go back and read cute little stories about Zander and Tater. However, I got so sad that I didn't document the lives of my last two babes. Most of the stories I read of the older two I didn't even remember them happening. Which means what? That now I don't have anything to remind me of their cute babyisms. I do have Facebook and Instagram, so those hold some memories. Anyway, most boring post in the world just to say that now that things have calmed down and my babies are older (sniff, sniff), I am hoping to start blogging again. Also, I really need to take the time to update the background and pictures! ;p

A Tale of Woe

A year of pictures gone. GONE. It all started a few months after Madelyn was born. Our laptop crashed and along with it went ALL of her hospital pictures AND first Christmas pictures. I was crushed. Thankfully, we did have pictures that the grandparents took as well as a few pictures I took on my phone.
Fast forward a few months to this summer, and our external hard drive crashes. What is going on?! Again, thankfully we had the pictures backed up onto our desktop. Still, I mentioned to my husband I was nervous about synching my phone because I did not want to lose the few pictures we had of Madelyn's life.
Fast forward again to last week. My husband accidentally erased our desktop. Before we backed it up. I have pretty much relied on my phone to take videos and pictures of the kids lately. It is just so much easier. So, unfortunately that meant that I lost all the pictures from October 2012 to September 2013. All of the cute videos of the 2 year old talking and singing. All the cute baby firsts. All of the kids pictures. Gone.
He was able to piece the external hard drive back together and recover the files from it. Unfortunately, he was not able to recover anything from our desktop. I am so sad and upset. Needless to say, I am going to try to be better at printing pictures off so that this doesn't happen again. Oh, and he also went out and bought a wireless storage unit thing that backs up the files automatically. (Not sure of the technical name)!

Baby-Led Weaning

When we introduced solids to E at 6 months we went with a totally different approach. With the older two we did the usual, start with baby cereal then introduce one pureed fruit or veggie every 3-4 days. Truth is, I hated it! It was so time consuming, not to mention we were not helping them learn to eat, just shoveling food into their mouths.

This time around I heard about Baby-Led Weaning. Again through my extensive research, uh reading of blogs, I realized this sounded like the way to go. I quickly ordered the book and got to it. Now purees for us!
We started her out at 6 months with hard foods that she couldn't really bite, but just gnaw on. She loved it! I was a little freaked out about her choking, but the book explains how that really is not a problem because a babies gag reflex is so far up on their tongues that it prevents them from getting large pieces of food in the back of their mouth.
After a while we started giving her steamed and softer foods to eat. It has been really amazing watching her learn to bite and chew at a much earlier age. By 9 months old she was eating just about everything we ate (minus common allergy triggers). An advantage to her eating the same food as us is that it is a good incentive to eat healthy! I am cooking healthier foods and healthier sides because I do not want my baby eating junk!

I often forget how advanced it is to just give my baby regular food and watch her eat it like she is two! It is also amazing to give a 10 month old a piece of steak and watch them chomp it up!

(Pics from early stages of BLW)

Conversations With Alexander

A: Mommy, when I grow big like you I'm still going to call you Mom.
Me: That's good. Are you still going to give me hugs and kisses?
A: Um, okay. When I'm big I'm going to wear Daddy's clothes 'cause I will be that big.
Me: You will?
A: Yeah, but when you turn 1,000 you are going to die.
Me: (sad face)
A: But that is okay because we will be able to take care of ourselves.


I love my boy!

Cloth Diapers!

For a variety of reasons we decided to go with cloth diapers this time around. I actually started looking into cloth diapers when I was pregnant with the boy, but I was so overwhelmed by all of the different types that I gave up. There were pocket diapers, prefolds, AIOs, hybrids, and flats. Then there are one size, perfect fit, inserts, doublers, velcro and snaps.....the list goes on and on. Not to mention all of the cute patterns.

This time around I started doing my research early. Of course by research I mean I read blogs, lots and lots of blogs. Without the blogs I would not have known what to pick. So, I am going to try to have a weekly cloth diaper post in hopes to help another overwhelmed Mama out.

Eliza May

Well, like all my kids, Eliza just could not wait to come meet us. Only she was a bit more stubborn than the other two. She made her appearance just one day before her scheduled date. Of course it would turn out that way, now that c-sections are not allowed to be scheduled until 39 weeks. Since my doctor was out of town my section was scheduled on Thursday the 16th of September. She came Wednesday the 15th. That is the longest I have ever been pregnant: 39 weeks and 3 days. I was not happy. I always go early, so the last month of my pregnancy I was waiting because it could be any day now.

I woke up Wednesday morning at 4:30 with contractions and they hurt! I tried switching positions, walking around and taking a shower but nothing eased them. I started timing them and they ranged from 3-5 minutes apart. Which is not a big deal, but when you are a repeat c-section you don't want to labor. I waited until my husbands alarm clock went off around 7 and practically pounced on him. By this time I had my bag packed, written out directions for my mom and was ready to go. Of course he thought I was fine. He didn't want to fight with traffic to get to the hospital so he took his time getting ready. Seriously, he took the time to shave and trim his hair, clip his nails and shower. By this time it is after 8. I finally wake up the kids and get everyone out the door and he decided to stop and get donuts for the kids on the way to his sisters house!

We finally got to the hospital around 9. I had called my doctor at 7, so when we arrived they were waiting on us. Unfortunately by that time they had gotten two more walk-ins ahead of me. That meant that they had to do two c-sections before getting to me and then it was only if they could fit me in before the scheduled ones. The nurse thought I would get in around 11:30 so around 11 Tony decided he better get something to eat before the fun started. One thing he didn't do when he left was take his phone. So guess what? The nurse came in a little after 11 and said that we needed to go now or I would not get in until later that night and where was my husband? We ended up paging him and just heading to the OR.

I was so stressed out that he would not make it in time. I had the worst experience with the spinal. With the other two my nurse was right in my face, holding me and reassuring me that everything was OK. With this one the nurse basically had her back turned to me with one hand on my knee. I was already freaked out because of Tony being MIA and then I kept thinking about what was going on so I ended up jumping and getting "yelled" at. Ooops, not good. Finally, got the spinal in and was all numbed up and still no Tony. Just as the doctor was about to make the first cut, my nurse asked if anyone had seen my husband and if somebody could go looking for him. Just as she said that he walked in. I had such a mixture of relief and wanting to kill him!
One thing I loved about this hospital was that after Eliza was born, they did a quick rub down, wrapped her up and then gave her to Tony so he held her the rest of the time. Then when I went to recovery she got to go with me. I was so excited to have my baby with me and be able to breastfeed right away. After about an hour they sent her to the nursery to get cleaned up and weighed and measured. She ended up weighing 7 pounds 8 ounces and being 21 inches long.Since our parents only live two hours away they were able to make it to the hospital before I went into surgery. They were able to follow Eliza up to the nursery and then stand at the glass and watch her for the next two hours as she was being taken care of. They loved it. My Mom brought Hannah and Alex up a little later and they were smitten
We were all smitten. Welcome to the family Eliza May!

This Pregnancy

In my pitiful blog neglect haze, I realized I have not yet blogged about this pregnancy. Um, I am 25 weeks pregnant.....seriously. Sorry peanut, you know third child and all.

During the first trimester I was so, so sick. Sicker than I have ever been with any of my other pregnancies. So sick that I could not move off of the couch without getting sick. I was so miserable! At first I thought I was pregnant with twins because it was so bad. Here is a look at my night time ritual:
Roll off the couch and slowly make my way upstairs. Promptly lay down on the bed to recover and try not to get sick. Feel better, roll off the bed and make my way into the bathroom. Wash my face and brush my teeth for about 10 seconds before I would start to gag. Run back to the bed and lay down. Not fun.

During that time I remember thinking, that this is it. This is the last time I will ever get pregnant because I cannot imagine going through that again. Thankfully, I slowly started feeling better and by March I was pretty much back to my old self. Now, I feel like I could do this again:)

We decided to find out what we were having. I wanted to wait, but Daddy wanted to find out. He said we had too much to take care of in order to prepare. In the end he won. I knew he wanted another boy because Hannah is his princess and he cannot imagine having another princess to not be able to say no to! However, that just means we get to try one more time! We took the kids with us to the ultrasound. Hannah loved it. She asked so many questions and especially loved hearing the heartbeat. She was very excited to hear she was going to be having a sister. When the tech asked if we had any names picked out the kids were more than happy to share their ideas. Hannah picked Star and Alex said Race Car. After being told by Hannah that Race Car was for a boy not a girl, he quickly replied with "Race Car Lady!" I think we will keep looking.

I am still feeling pretty good. I am past the sickness and not too big and uncomfortable yet. I enjoy feeling this baby move. She is so active! In fact, Hannah felt her kick for the first time on Memorial day. She was so excited! She ran upstairs to tell Daddy and Alex and has often asked to feel her move again. I have noticed that I am carrying her much lower though. With my other two, I always felt like they were in my ribs and their kicks were in the middle of my abdomen. It feels like this girl is using my bladder as a trampoline and her kicks are felt much lower in my abdomen.

I think that is about it for now. We still do not have a name picked out yet. I am open for any suggestions.

Hopes, Dreams and Letting Them Go

This post is sort of two stories mashed together, so I apologize if it gets a little long.

This post has been rambling around in my head for some time. It was a hard one to write as most people do not know the first part of the story. If you are family or a close friend, I apologize for not telling you before this. It is however an awkward subject that I did not know how to bring up. However, looking back I wish I would have told more people so that I would have more support during that time.

It all started in September. September 28th to be exact. That is the day that I had a positive pregnancy test! We were so excited to be expanding our family. I had really hoped with this one that I could have a v-bac so I called a doctor that has researched having v-bacs after 2 c-sections and set up an appointment. For the first few weeks everything was going great. We decided to wait to tell the kids and the majority of our family and friends. I was so surprised that I had not been hit by morning sickness, but I was not complaining. In fact, I think I even thanked the Lord for blessing me with one pregnancy without it!

All of that changed when I woke up October 12. I went to the bathroom and noticed a very small amount of spotting. Telling myself it was nothing to worry about I went back to bed. However, throughout the day the spotting continued to get worse. I tried to call my new doctor's office and couldn't get through so when my husband got home we decided to go to the ER. It was there that my worst fears were confirmed. The baby was gone. He had stopped growing around 3-4 weeks. Right about the time that I found out I was pregnant.

One of the things that still makes me mad about the whole thing was when I went for a follow-up appointment with the new doctor and the ultrasound tech told me that "it wasn't really a baby yet anyway, just a clump of cells." Really! You tell me that, as I am sitting here grieving that I didn't just lose a baby. That it was just a clump of cells. I was so shocked and angry that I couldn't speak. I just sort of looked at her. I wish I would have said something, anything about how that wasn't correct.

Fast forward to January 7. There was a blood drive at our church that weekend, so on Thursday I decided to take a test just to be sure. It was positive and I was ecstatic! However, I was also full of fear. After experiencing that loss, I was so afraid it was going to happen again. I remember praying that I would get morning sickness so I would know everything was okay. (Stupid prayer request!) I was sort of holding my breath for that first 6 weeks. I made it past that, had my first appointment but still couldn't breathe. I was still overcome with fear. I knew of a couple of people who had recently lost their babies at 12 weeks so I felt like I just needed to get past that.

My first appointment came and I had all my previous records for my new doctor so that he could evaluate if I was a good candidate for the v-bac. Unfortunately, Alexander threw a wrench in that plan. Since I was already in labor with him and he was engaged they had a hard time getting him out so they made a vertical incision. A vertical incision increases the chances of rupture so the doctored said without knowing how big that incision was he wouldn't feel comfortable with a v-bac, but ultimately the decision was up to me. I was a little devastated. I really had to wrestle with this decision. I understand the c-section with Hannah, it was needed in order to get her out safely and worth it to have a healthy little girl. With Alex, it is a much different story. I wanted a v-bac with him but the doctor wouldn't let me. I did not have a choice. So when I went into labor on my own I feel like I should have pushed to just let it progress. I was already 4 centimeters when I got checked it with regular contractions and it was over 2 hours before the c-section took place. Looking back I wish I would have asked to be checked again to see if I had progressed anymore. Regardless, he was stuck and they made the vertical incision.

Now it was time to decide. It had been my dream to have a natural childbirth since getting pregnant the first time. Now I had to decide what was worth more; my dream or a healthy baby. How could I possible say that my dream of a chance at a natural childbirth was more important than ensuring the health of my baby. I knew if something were to happen I would not be able to live with myself so I decided to go with another c-section. I figured God had a reason for all of this, maybe my body couldn't handle the v-bac. I had to let go of "my dreams". It was not an easy decision, however I knew it was the right one. So, switched back to my other doctor who was much more personable!

I had to wait until I was almost 16 weeks for my second appointment which seemed like torture. However, it was through that that I realized my fear was taking hold of me. I needed to just let it go and turn my baby over to God. He was in control after all. I wrestled with that on and off over the next couple of weeks until I made the decision that I was going to enjoy my pregnancy. I was so engulfed with fear that I was not enjoying it. That made a big difference. The fear still pops up every now and then, but I think it makes me enjoy the pregnancy even more. I take nothing for granted.

June 6....my original due date. I should have a baby in my arms right now. It is hard to picture that. I am sad by the fact that my arms are empty right now, but then I would be choosing that baby over this one. How can I chose that?

My Forever Girl

My girl. She pledges her love to me day after day. Often she tells me that she never wants to get married. She wants to stay home with Mommy forever and ever. Which is fine by me! I think I should try to record her saying that, so that when the teen years hit I can remind her how at one time she thought I was the best thing ever.

Somehow or other, Hannah has it in her head that we will be having a baby soon. Awhile back Tony said something about organizing the basement so that when the time came we would have the option of moving the toys down there. I guess she heard that conversation and it stuck with her.

The other day she told me she did NOT want me to have another baby because she didn't want her toys to go to the basement, she wanted them to stay in the toy room. I assured her that it would not be that way for sometime because the baby would sleep in Mommy and Daddies room at first. That eased her mind for awhile.

Soon she wondered, where would the baby go when it got bigger? Well, if it was a boy he would sleep in Alex's room and if we have a girl then she would sleep in Hannah's room. Well, it seemed that would work "Only if she doesn't snore! If she snores, she cannot sleep with me!" OK Hannah, but Mommy does NOT have a baby in her tummy so we have a long time to worry about that. To which she replied, "Are you sure? Your tummy sure is getting bigger!" Thanks sweetie;)

Soon enough her mind was reeling with questions again. Now she wanted to know if she could get a bunk bed if the baby was a girl. I told her we would wait and see. Then she told me when we take down her bed just to put it in a box and save it for her. That way when the girl gets married, we can take down the bunk bed and put her bed back up! You know, because she is never, ever getting married.

I like the way you think little girl! You can stay with Mommy and Daddy as long as you want. Maybe we could sign a legal agreement stating that you will stay away from boys all together while we are at it. Or you could just freeze time and stay my little girl forever.

You Capture: Lines

Lines...lines....lines. This was a difficult challenge for me, my creative juices just were not flowing. The only thing I could come up with for You Capture was my blinds. Every time I looked up and saw the light streaming through, I thought it might make a nice picture.
Not the most awe inspiring subject, but it works just the same. Here is a different angle, don't mind the ahem, dust. It seems maybe I should have dusted before I took a picture of the blinds.

Head over to Beth's to see some great captures.

Christmas Card Outtakes...

I decided to go with "simple" for our Christmas Cards this year. By simple I mean, buy a card where you just slide a photo in. Actually, I decided that two Christmases ago (2007) and ended up not sending out cards, so I still had the cards to use. Regardless, I thought it would be a cinch to take a cute photo of my kids! Ha, who was I kidding? I knew that I was setting myself up because it was before nap time and my little Mr. was a grump, but I still thought I could pull it off!

It actually started off that he was in a good mood and Sissy was grumpy.

Then it switched to Sissy being happy and him being grumpy. Somewhere along the line I may have threatened them that they wouldn't get to go to Grandma's house unless they both smiled for the camera! It may or may not have worked.
I may or may not have called Grandma and left a voicemail in front of them stating that Zander couldn't go to her house because he wasn't listening.

I may have gotten a few good shots.
I will reveal my top three picks at the end of the week.

You Capture: Food

This week's You Capture was food. This Thanksgiving my Mom asked me to bake "a few pies or something." I had high expectations of capturing all these beautiful photos while I was baking. Except then I forgot, until I saw Beth's tweet that you capture was up. I was all, crap! Guess I will just show you the finished product.
A snowball cake.

Snowball cake, with pumpkin crunch in background.

Of course, a pumpkin roll. It was my first time baking all of these and I had two little helpers. Both helpers were quite upset when they found out they had to wait a whole day before they got to sample all their hard work. Hannah even asked if we could just taste one of them and take the other two to Grandma's. I like the way she thinks! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

As always, head over to Beth's to see more captures.

You Capture: Autumn

This weeks You Capture is Autumn. Autumn is probably my favorite season, except for the fact that winter is shortly behind it. I love all of the beautiful colors. It amazes me that we get one last colorful look before the dreary gray winter comes.

The kids and I went on a walk the other day and these are two of my favorite pictures from the walk.

Of course another reason to love autumn is pumpkin seeds!

We can't forget adorable kids and their pumpkins.

To see more captures or to play along, head over to I Should Be Folding Laundry.

Wow!

Hi! Remember me? I know it has been a LONG time. I really do not have an excuse other than we were busy enjoying our summer and I kind of hit a blogging funk. Sorry I neglected you so long;)
There is so much to update, so I am going to have a list on here and cross it out/link to the posts over the next few days weeks!

• Hannah's trip to see Dr. Pauli
• Hannah's birthday post
• Birthday party
• Hannah's first loose tooth
• Trip to the zoo/stroller
• Alexander's birthday post
• Face painting

Hmm, that is all I can think of for now. I know not much content on this post! It is a start though.

Lose the Loose

Hannah's tooth has been loose for weeks upon weeks. For a little girl who is anxious to lose her first tooth, it seemed like it had been loose FOREVER! The following is how it finally came out. I took a million pictures of this event, but luckily enough for you I narrowed it down to just four.

One night fresh from a bath, Hannah told Daddy that her tooth was really, really loose. So we all gathered around her as Daddy tortured her tried to pull her tooth.

She was a little bit scared, so she held Mommy's hand. She was worried that it was going to hurt even though that little tooth was only hanging on by a thread.

Daddy's big fingers had a hard time grabbing that tiny little baby tooth. So eventually we called it a night. The next day (August 26) while sitting at the table with Hannah I asked her if I could wiggle her tooth. I twisted it one time and out it came.

She was so excited to finally lose the tooth that had been loose for so LONG. The end.

A Whole Hand

I know I start out every birthday post lamenting the fact that I cannot believe how old my "baby" is, but it is so true. How can my girl be 5 already?! It is unreal. Where does the time go? Which is funny to say because there are days that literally drag on and I am ready to pull my hair out by bedtime. However, the next thing I know another year has passed.

Things I want to remember from the past year:
You are still such a swimmer! You love the water and if it were up to you, you would swim every day all day! You have recently began swimming under water. I think maybe we should invest in swim lessons for you.

You are also so social. You love to play with your "friends" and cousins. In fact in the mornings I will often find you looking out our front window to see if any of your friends are outside. As soon as you spot one, you get so excited and beg to go outside.

You still love to sing and dance. In fact when we say your bedtime prayers it is usually done in form of a song! You just make up your own beat and dance to it. I love how you are constantly dancing or singing. We are hoping to find you a dance class this fall so that you can continue to do what you love.

You have started not only dressing yourself, but picking out what you want to wear. You come up with some crazy outfits! They do not always match, but to you they do! One day you wore two totally different patterns that both had flowers on them. Your reasoning was that you were going to be a flower girl, so you needed to wear flowers! You also almost always have some sort of scarf or headband as an accessory. For this reason, some people think you are going to be a fashion designer when you grow up.

One of your greatest loves is dogs. You have never taken an interest in playing with dolls, but you have so many stuffed dogs that you LOVE to play with. You just love Fuzzy Bones and all of the neighbors dogs. You are so gentle with them and loving. It still surprises me that you never had a fear of dogs even after you got bit. I know that I have a major fear now. I always have to stop you when we "meet" a new dog because you just want to get right down there and give them hugs and let them kiss you. It makes me so nervous! Sometimes when we are outside playing with the neighbors, you will ignore all of the kids and hang out with the neighbor's dog Clyde for awhile. Many people think you are going to be a veterinarian one day.

It is so amazing to see how much you have grown and changed over this year. You are my baby girl, and yet you are getting older right before my eyes. Often times you tell me that you do not want to get married. When asked why, you will respond that you want to stay with Mommy forever. Which is perfectly fine by me. You are such a strong, stubborn, spunky girl. I know God has some big plans for you. Really, it doesn't matter what you decide to become one day as long as you are happy.

Happy Birthday Hannah!

Love,
Your Mommy

A Dog Gone Good Time

It was no surprise that Hannah chose to have a dog themed birthday party this year. Although once again it was a last minute change. Pretty much since last year she has been talking about how she wanted a Hannah Montana party. I found a cute guitar cake stencil to use, as well as cute favor and game ideas. Then shortly before the party she decided on puppy dogs. It fit her well and we had a lot of fun doing it.

We had a great turn out for the party, besides most of my family not coming:( All of our neighbors (with kids) came, most of our small group, and some family. It was a little crowded in the house, but it was worth it.

Unfortunately, I do not have any pictures of the decor (I was a little busy running around doing all the last minute stuff) so for now I will just tell you about them. I found dog dishes at Target in the $1 aisle. So I bought one for each of the kids and wrote their names on them with a paint pen. Then I put coco puffs in them (dog food) and sugar cookies cut in the shape of a bone on top. When the kids first came in we had a station for them to make a dog collar, licorice with fruit loops. The cake was in the shape of a dog face and then I made cupcakes with paw prints on them.

Games: A few weeks before Hannah's party we were at a neighbors party and they were getting ready to play pin the tale on the donkey. Hannah kept saying that she did not want to play. I could not figure out why because she had played all of the other games up to that point. She asked me if she could just watch. Then she asked me where they kept him at. Who? The donkey, is he outside? It was so funny. She actually thought there was a real donkey that she had to try to pin a tale on! After explaining to her it was pretend and showing her the picture, she was ready to play.

Of course she wanted to play pin the tale at her party. I tried to find a pin the tale on the dog, but couldn't so we were stuck with a donkey. We also had a barking contest and a pinata.

Hannah with all of her loot!

Her big gift from Mommy, Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa Fries, Grandma and Grandpa Lauck and Uncle Matt. We are looking forward to using that this summer!

You Capture, Summer

This weeks challenge over at I Should Be Folding Laundry was summer. When I think of summer I think of hot lazy days at the pool. Unfortunately we no longer live by our parents who both have a pool, so we now use sprinklers. (Note, not as much "fun" for me this way!) Since I just used pictures of the kids in sprinklers, I had to move on. The next thing I thought of was ice pops! We LOVE ice pops at this house.
I love the colors and the lines! To see some more great captures head over to Beth's!

You Capture - Nature

This week's challenge was nature. I did not have to go very far to get some fun pictures. What is that nursery rhyme? Mary, Mary, quite contrary how does your garden grow? These pictures were all taken from my flower garden and they are SOC.

I had to include our 'mato plant because the Tater was just so excited to see that we had 'matoes growing!!

Head over to I Should Be Folding Laundry to check out some great captures!

On a totally unrelated note, I know I have been kind of absent from the blog lately. It seems I am kind of in a funk. I have a ton of stuff to write about, but the words are not coming. Yesterday it was all I could do to get my weigh in post up and it was not very wordy. Anyway, be on the lookout for three or four posts coming soon (probably after the weekend).