Saturday, April 12, 2008


If you know me, you probably know that I am pretty shy. When I first meet somebody I tend to come across as being either a snob or a big dork because I am so shy. Don't get me wrong, once I get to know a person it is hard to get me to shut-up. It is that initial awkward phase that I hate. I hate being in large social settings, I hate meeting new people and I hate being the center of attention. I get anxious and worry about every little detail. In fact I even get anxious about simple husband orders the pizza's around here! Sometimes I just want to stay inside so I don't have to meet new people.
I am telling you this because we are meeting a bunch of new people tomorrow and I have been on edge about it all day long. We are going up to Monroe to meet with four other families that also have children with achondroplasia. While I am excited to meet people who are in the same situation as us, I am still as nervous as all get out.
What should I wear? Man I look HUGE in everything, I really need to get serious about losing this weight! What if they don't like me? What if my pies are no good? (Did I mention that I am taking pies?) What if my kids misbehave? What if I have nothing to talk about and I end up alone in the corner?
Seriously people, these are the types of things that have been running through my head all day long. Is this normal? Am I some sort of recluse that should move up to the mountains and stay in a secluded cabin? What has happened to me that I have become such a shy person? Where has all of this fear come from?


Tonya said...

Hopefully you had a good time? :)

Sarah and Matt said...

I was just reading your blog and when I read this I felt so bad! I honestly didn't even notice yesterday. I get that way sometimes too. I don't like ordering the pizza either :) It was kinda funny when I read that. It's hard to meet new people, because you never know what people are going to think...And you are skinny! Don't worry about looking bad, jeez. I'm the cow. I gained so much weight having the 2 kids so close together...I hate looking at myself in pics...okay, not about me...I'm so glad we got to meet you and I hope you felt at ease. I hope we get to meet again sometime. I'm sure you are a great person and you have a great family. I would have emailed you privatley rather then writing all this down here, but I don't know your email :)