NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Have you ever read the book: No, David! by David Shannon? I used to read it to my three year old class when I worked in a daycare. It is a really cute book that apparently Shannon wrote when he was a little boy. Every page he illustrated a picture of himself doing something that he shouldn't be doing and at the top of the page would be the words "No, David!"
Back in my childless days I found the book to be humorous. At the time I was an Early Childhood Education major and scuffed about how I would never spend my days telling me child no. I would redirect, I would say yes to more things....I would be the best parent I could be!
Hahahaha!! Fast-forward a couple of years. Here I am with two kids: my mellow, sweet Tater who rarely "gets into trouble" aside from telling me no or hitting her brother and then there is my bruiser Zander. What can I say? I spend my days chasing him around, trying to keep him from killing himself and guess what the most common phrase out of my mouth is? Yep! "NOOOOO!" It is like he is looking for trouble. Climbs anything, eats anything, can open ANYTHING, can reach anything...nothing is safe from this kid.
When I reflect on my day, it makes me feel sad knowing how often this kid hears no. He can sometimes be found saying "No, no, no!" for really no reason. I am trying to redirect more, I am trying to engage him in more activities (by the way have you ever tried to engage a 20 month old in an activity?) but I still find myself saying the dreaded N word more then I would like. What I am finding is that boy, this kid can throw a tantrum. Up to date the most embarrassing just happened on Thursday. I say most embarrassing because it was our first public meltdown. We were shopping at the local mall and trying to find a pair of sandals for Tater's wide feet. In the last store we visited we finally found some crocs. We thought we should try some on Alex too, just for fun...until I saw the price tag ($40.00!! um, online they are 24.99) and about had a heart attack. I think we will keep looking, I told my Mom. These don't fit very good, I told the girl and boy. I took the shoes off Alex and he just started to scream! Thankfully he was strapped in the stroller because that would have been lovely if he was able to throw himself on the floor. Anyway, I got the pleasure of pushing the screaming child out of the store to the parking lot where he continued to scream until we drove off. Fun times.
I say this because I am in a rough patch right now. There are a few areas in my life where I am feeling like a failure. My weight, my parenting skills, my organizational skills and some too personal to mention here. I just have that overwhelming feeling of failure that makes me want to curl up in a ball and hideout for a couple of weeks.